One year

It had been a year, an exact one year marked by December 10.

This day one year ago, i declared to stop blogging.

That was the day we broke up.

Thinking about my Australia exchange program for the past one year, it felt like i've been through a lot.

But whenever recalling about the memory with him, it still felt like yesterday.

One year ago, i moved all his messages to a folder i won't see but it existed.

One year after, it took me quite a bit of courage to open that folder.

I read through all the 300+ saved messages one by one.

And i deleted them one by one.

It's painful, but it was a pain which i was supposed to face a year ago which i couldn't bring myself to.

Instead i'm glad i did what i did today.

I reminised what happened, those happy days.

But at the same time, reading all those messages in a calm mood and clear mind, i saw what went wrong.

It wasn't him, it was me.

He couldn't have done more than enough to make me feel secured.

I was too blind to see what he had been doing.

I had been too deaf to hear what he had been saying.

Reading back all those messages conveying of what he had been trying to tell me and the patience that accompanied it.

It was my wrong to doubt him.

I was a lucky girl that time.

He made a right choice to break up with me, cause the relationship had been a tiring one.

Trying to convey a same message over and over again, how can it not drain his energy.

Looking back, i couldn't feel more glad that we had been together once.

But i'm even more relieved that he made that decision, because it's really for the two of our's good.

I treasure this relationship we once had, as beautifully as the relationship started, it ended as peacefully as it could.

Thank you for all those you did for me back than, it was me who didn't appreciate it.

But i'm glad everything had come to an end.

=)