16 February, 2009

Australia Life

16th February 2009
Honestly, I cried again this morning but well, the day didn’t end that badly. There was this “Games Night” that just ended. I won’t say it was a great load of fun but at least I’ve start to know people. So well, I guess Wai Chien’s life is coming back. Orientation starts tomorrow at 9am. And it’s quite a long way to walk from hostel to campus. I’ll time it tomorrow and let you guys know how long it takes to reach campus. Everytime back in Malaysia, we used to complain how far is the carpark from uni, Let me tell you this, the distance now is triple or perhaps more than what we walk in sunway. So people back in sunway, please feel how lucky you are because that’s how I’ll feel 1 year from now when I’m back there. I’ve been typing all these posts in Microsoft words and so I’ll post them all up once I’ve got my internet connection done. I know if I were to leave them all to blog when I got internet connection, I’ll missed out a lot of details. So yah, I hope all this posts can get post soon. *hugs people*
And thanks to mom, both my bros and Sue who ringed me up to show their concern. Family’s sms of words of encouragement. I miss you all!
15th February 2009
Alright, I’m not feeling that bad today. Yes I still brood over the fact that I’m being alone here with no one of you to talk to, no one who has already understand me like how you guys do and won’t be asking me this and that and most importantly is I know if any of you is here with me, all my meals will be settled. Currently my eating is a total mess up! Since I reached Melbourne, yesterday I ate, erm, nothing. And today’s breakfast was milk and cereals and dinner was 5 pieces of biscuits. I do crave of eating but every time the fact that I’m here alone hits me, I couldn’t bring myself to eat. I know once you guys read this, I’m going to get a long lecture but this is the true life I’m leading now.
Mom called this morning. Once I heard her voice, I couldn’t hold back all my accumulated tears already. She asked me how’s life here and I told her it’s bad and I’m really alone here. She asked me what I ate and I told her I ate nothing. I regret telling her I ate nothing because she’ll get real worried about me currently. And I’m crying again now! I might again look normal in front of everyone, but I’m not. I’m not that strong and independent like how you guys think about me.
I’m fear of sleeping now, because I don’t know how my tomorrow is going to be. I don’t know what I can do tomorrow. And I feel so shameful of feeling this right now because I’ve really got no one and it’s just me and myself only.
I’m so alone to the extent that I went up to 3 guys whom I don’t know yesterday and asked them whether I can follow them to town. I’m so alone again today that I followed them again to the mall because I’ve really got no life here.
That’s the Lau Wai Chien here in Australia!
14th February 2009
Living alone isn’t really easy. Well, you guys will say but then you aren’t alone, there are a lot of others going on exchange program also. But it’s different, I always thought I was independent enough, but I guess I’m way too wrong. Just unpacking my luggage earlier on was enough to put me on the verge on crying. But I didn’t want to be seemed so vulnerable and so I quickly grab my clothes and go for shower. And guess what, water heater spoilt! I was already naked and given my lazy personality, I thought I’ll be fine and just go ahead with the showering but ended up jumping up and down in the toilet. Luckily no one has moved in on my floor yet, so no one will know what I did in the toilet except you guys who are reading this. And that’s also the eerie part, wait till I settle down and really adapt to the environment here and I’ll take pictures and show you guys what I mean by the scary part. Imagine whole building now only got don’t know only 5 people staying. I really feel like breaking down already. There’s no one here. No one who I can act silly in front of. It’s like everyone is so serious around. I kind of regret coming on this exchange program, I should just have been a good girl and stay in sunway campus. Now can only blame myself for being so not socializing here in aussie. It’s 7.45pm in KL but 10.45pm in Clayton here. Well yah, I do sleep alone back at home, but today sleeping alone seems very insecure. I want to go home, ok now I must hold back my tears. Perhaps when things get better, I’ll share happier stuff.
Thoughts currently: Why did you all dump me alone in Clayton now? Everyone at least has one company but I’m really being on my own!

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