Family girl missing home...

So in 2 hours... I've cried for 4 times in a row... Depression is going to hit on me sooner or later...

There was this really uneasy feeling in me today and as if it's reflex, I just sms daddy and asked him to call me back... Cause daddy and mommy work together, so asking him to call me is equivalent to "I want to talk to mom."... Daddy called me within 15 minutes...

Mom talked to me first... And i cried cause i told her i want to go home...

Dad talked to me next... He asked about my studies... And i told him again i wish i'm home... He say i should appreciate that i don't have to do housework for 1 year... He'll help me with sweeping and mopping the house... He'll help me keep my room in the best condition... He has checked my room's air con and is sure it's still in good condition... There is no cockroach in my room and blah blah blah... And i cried again the second time...

And in another hour time... Room's phone rang... And it's big brother who called... Yes... They always so coincidentally call me on the same day... That's why we are a family... And eventually with my missing home mood... I cried for the third time...

And within another 15 minutes after i put down the phone with my big brother... Second brother called... And i cried again for the fourth time...

I'm not a mommy's girl... Neither am i a daddy's girl... But i'm a family girl who consist of mommy's+daddy's+brothers' girl... I really wonder why did i choose to come here when i know i'm a family oriented girl and i'll be really homesick...

*sigh* I miss home... I miss my clean bedroom... I miss my bed...

And for people who don't know... I'm a cleanliness freak... My room back home is a not to be messed place... So whenever family wants me to be home... They just have to tell me that my room has been messed up and i'll definately "fly" home...

And last but not least... I'm glad that i've such caring and good brothers in my life...

The Break Up (not me definately)

It's a forwarded mail from Sue and it's cute... Enjoy people... =D

The image's a bit small... Click on it and you'll be able to see the wordings clearly... *hugs*

Bad bad headache

Been feeling awfully uncomfortable... Might be cause i've been missing a lot of sleeps... Might be cause of my period... Might be a lot a lot of other factors...

It's not i don't want to sleep... But i just couldn't seems to sleep... Lied down on bed and had my eyes open for an hour... Ended up sleeping late but yet still waking up early... I don't like this... I'm seriously detesting this feeling... I just want to sleep soundly every night and get my appropriate rest... It has been 2 weeks since i last really absorbed in lecture materials... I'm mentally exhausted...

I'm having a really awful headache now... There's so much of things yet left undone... But i got to head to bed... Everything will be in silent tonight... Plugging out of telephone line... Silenting all my phones including incoming calls... I just want a sleep to sustain me through tomorrow's lecture... And a sleep to make me feel better...

Breathing difficulty

Whole day today was so stuffy, the air being very humid. You can feel that there is difficulty in breathing. I've opened my door since 10pm until now going to be 2am. I've never thought i'll do that but now stairway 6 felt like a home more and all i did was just opening my room's door. Can say hi to everyone around me easier also. Getting used to the toilet i'm using. Getting used to walk to the far kitchen even if it is to reheat back my food. Getting more used to this change of lifestyle i'm leading.

Finished and submitted the 1st assignment for this semester, short 2.5% psychology online assignment which i have no idea whether i'm on the right track or not without Simran's guidance.

Feeling very bad coz gor gor sent me money again. I've submitted a lot of resumes but still no calls from them. I'm getting very disappointed as well. I want to get a job fast, even if it is a low pay job.

Alright, not feeling that good either due to pms. Good night people. *smile*

Chadstone Shopping Center

Ok... So today wasn't a bad day... Considered it to be a good day after all... =D

Today's friday and Wai Chien has got no class... So i thought i could sleep in till late but failed...!!! I still do wake up either in the middle of the night or in the early early morning... And today my biological clock chose to wake me up in the early morning... I woke up, went toilet and realised i couldn't sleep back when i returned to my room... And so... I went to do my laundry... I went and do my laundry at 8.40am in the morning...!!! Can you imagine a lazy Wai Chien actually doing this... But yet she still continues doing it... Hahaha... 1 hour washing machine... 1 hour 40 minutes for dryer... That ends around 11.40am... After then which i washed up and prepared to meet Sue Anne at campus center... She agreed to go with me to Chadstone Shopping Center today... A very nice friend i found who's able to go around places with me...

Darrel came along also cause he needs to get his rice cooker... I got my 8 cups of rice cooker for $29 and he got his 10 cups of rice cooker for $30... But i got mine before him and i'm definately contented with my current rice cooker... So no complains or grumbles... But a good point to think about... What do i do with my rice cooker after 1 year after my exchange program...

So Sue Anne and me starting walking around Chadstone from 1pm to 8pm... Had our lunch there and i finally ate my Hungry Jack's... Had been craving to eat it for a very long time but everytime also missed it and i finally ate it today... So consider contented... :)

And i'm still waiting for calls calls calls...

Lakeside

This lakeside is viewable from my room which i think explained why is it that all rooms on the same side with me always feel colder than the rest. It's nothing really special but somehow it seems to have attracted me a lot since after taking the first walk around it. And nowadays, I'm actually willing to leave my room 5 minutes earlier to walk by the lakeside before going to class. And i'll also walk by the lakeside before coming back to my room after classes. It might seems big but actually it's not. Just a 5-10 minutes walk is all that's being required.

Enjoy the pictures! =D

Jun asked to go "Nott" tonight. It's some sort of a bar place i heard. Waiting for people's reply and only decide whether i'm going or not. Bye bye people... *smile*

Brand New Wai Chien

Wai Chien was borned on the 24th July1988 in Singapore General Hospital. She had lived in Singapore since then. She attended her kindergarten in Singapore, primary school in Singapore and 2 years of secondary school in Singapore.

Then daddy decided to move back to Malaysia. It wasn't an easy change. From disliking Malaysia to now saying Malaysia isn't that bad after all. From not knowing any malay to now at least knowing a bit of it.

I had attended Fairview, Sunway College to now present Monash. Wai Chien is a crybaby for all those who never know this fact. But no, I don't cry in front of people. I never want to affect people who's not involved.

I remembered taking my driving test. No friends knew, except Kim Han and Sue. I was afraid to tell people, because i'm scared of the embarassment and the laughter from people if i failed. But no one left me on that day. Dad accompanied me till i was about to take the test, then my instructor came and see me took all the tests and than dad came back just in time after my test. I passed, i did it in 1 time. Don't ask me how, caused if you ask me to retake the test all over again, I'll tell you i can't. Kim Han and Sue gave me their promises that they will be by my side no matter what's my results going to be. They came to driving center straight after my exams to pick me up, to cheer me up if i fail, to celebrate if i pass. Where has this friendship gone to?

I remembered my 20th birthday. I'm sure all of you do. It's still fresh in my mind. The love you all showered on me knowing you can't celebrate my 21st with me. The closeness we all had. Looking through those pictures, all those videos and all those powerpoints. Did we all forget we all once had a very close and good friendship?

Things changed. All of us going seperate ways. We all start to have walls between us. An unbreakable wall. A wall that seperating us. Walls that are forming a maze where we might not meet again. We might come across each other but we'll be busy finding our own exit.

I can't sleep at nights. I woke up almost every midnight feeling very uncomfortable. It's not the homesick feeling. It's a feeling of losing something. All i dreamt these few days are me losing grip of things, losing control of things. And i realised i've lost friendship.

Even the friendship which i thought would be long lasting disappoints me yesterday. It's not you, it's just me. You did nothing wrong, it's just that perhaps we don't have the same common ending point anymore.

Wai Chien will now onwards will be a brand new Wai Chien. I don't have to explain to anyone why i'll now choose to do things in a different way. Be it good or bad, i'm accountable for myself. So let us all lead a seperate life, a life which don't consist you or me. Wai Chien's life will just be Wai Chien and Wai Chien's life itself.

From now onwards, everyday will be a happy day and no more dull days. Start the day with a smile and end it with a smile too.

*and no, you are not welcome to comment about anything.*

- - -

为什么每一次都要对我那么不公平?

为什么就不可以不要让我知道有这样的事情发生?

为什么回应就不可以是简简单单的一句他没交给你?

为什么要间接的帮他伤害我?

你们是不是都认为我现在自己一个人的惩罚还不够残忍?

Love 'n' forgive

Unexpectedly...

I've fallen in love with oranges...

Yes... No doubt... Wai Chien is saying that...

I know i've said a lot of random stuff after arriving here in australia...

Such as... "I realised how good is Dr. Shamsul now!" and blah blah blah...

But than...

Yes again... I've fallen in love with oranges...

Australia oranges aren't sour like those back in Malaysia...

There's a price to pay though...

It's quite costly actually...

But still...

Don't get surprised if Wai Chien says she is having oranges as her dinner...

=D

~ ~ ~

I admit i am and will be loyal once i've fallen for someone...

And to some extent...

Even after seperating...

I'll still hold on...

So it's not at all surprising if people now still think that i might still be caught on with him...

I do stumble at times...

But i know clearly what i want...

He's someone i won't be back with...

So people...

He has moved on...

And so has I...

~ ~ ~

I remembered i was still feeling hurt when we first get together

But you said

You'll wait till i'm ready for a new relationship

When i was really able to accept a brand new relationship

When i told everyone that i've found my mr right

When i told everyone that i don't have to choose anymore

You took them all back

I wished people will have told me don't be silly

I wished people had stopped us from going so far

I wished i had not convinced people that things between us can work

And now it's all a slap back in the face

Perhaps it's all retribution

Should have know that it will come

You reassured that it won't happened

But reality is

It had

Did you realise...???

or rather we should put it in another way

You will now tell this "perfect story" to another girl to get what what you want

Yes

I am angry

But i've forgive

I wish i could help...

积财好不如积德好

相貌好不如心田好

求己好不如助人好

多求好不如知足好

说的好不如行得好

知足好不如感恩好

1 month...!!!

It's officially Ice Crim's 1 month in australia already... *applause people* Yeah... Wow... Never have i thought i can survive my one month just like this... It still seems like yesterday i was leaving to airport, on the flight, arriving in australia, moving in to my room and everything still not in place. Though i still have those unsettled feelings in me, but i guess this one month realisation has tell me more than enough than i've already settled down. Most probably when i really feel settled here, it's time for me to say bye bye to australia already.

It just happened as a coincidence that Darrel and i were invited to Kevin, Suh Ming and Sue Anne's cooking group for tonight's dinner. Because it's a weekend, so they decided to cook something different which i named today's event as "Potatoes Fish Salad". And very concidentally also, Darrel, Sue Anne and me all arrived on the same flight. So today marked the three of us being in australia for 1 month. Kevin and Suh Ming arrived 1 day earlier than us, so it's their 1 month and 1 day.

Menu for the night:

Lettuce with mayo

Mashed Potatoes

Fish Fillets

Lemon Cheesecake

Suh Ming boiling potatoes

Sue Anne frying fish fillets

Wai Chien mashing potatoes

Final Outcome

Dessert: Lemon Cheesecake

The girls

Darrel and Kevin (responsible for cleaning up cause girls did the cooking part)

Honestly speaking, i only got to know them when i reached here in australia. Perhaps i've been too pampered back in malaysia, so it's an all new experience now for me to get along with people. I admit i'm still bad at it but things are improving.

Lots of memories running through currently

Those Happy moments,

Unhappy moments,

Confused moments,

Dilemma moments,

Upset moments,

Missing moments,

Hatred moments.

But nevertheless, it's 1 month anniversary in australia for me.

Something to be glad but Wai Chien has grow fat...

Happy Happy Day...

It's always the coincidence that people from malaysia will always ring me up on the same day.

=D

But it's ok... It's always heart warming to hear all of your voices on the same day.

Daddy and mommy

(Daddy looked fierce here caused i made him angry before i left home before leaving to come Australia)

Only a very short talk caused i was in rush to collect my laundry in case people throw my clothes out. Both of them sounded happy over on the phone, and when they are happy, i am too.

Yes, i'm missing home again...

Big Brother

Called me one night at 2am and got me hanged up on him. Told him it's 2am and i'm sleeping and there i go - pressed the red button on my phone. He called again tonight and talked a bit, gossipped a bit ( yes, siblings do gossip), laughed a bit, criticised my slk (small little kancil) a bit and he has to entertain his girlfriend. So this time round, he hanged back up on me.

Second Brother

The one who i can contact the most easily nowadays. The one who's just a phone call away. The one who's most worried about me now because we are staying in the same country. The one who's responsible for me. The one who is working the hardest. Thanks gor gor for giving me everything. Thanks for making my stay in australia being so comfortable. Thank you!

Simran and Sue

To Simran: Great minds think alike! Hahaha... I was already thinking of smsing her in the middle of my psychology labs when i received her's. Imagine attending 1 and a half year of psychology lectures and labs with the same person and now she's not around you. No more her voice, no more her nonsense, no more checking out old uncles with me, no one to disturb. I miss you, Simran! Told you told you to come on exchange program and now you say i scare you. But it's really weird not seeing you, everytime when i go late for classes back in malaysia, i know all i have to do is to look for Simran's face and now, I'm punctual for every single class.

To Sue: Never felt her apart from me, her existence is just always around me. Never failed to gossip, never failed to laugh, never failed to cheer me up, never failed not to leave me (yes, even when it's my ultimate wrong wrong doings), never failed to go shopping, never failed to not have desserts, never never failed to do anything my way. She's just like an angel that's sent to me, to protect me when everyone is falling on me, to guide me when i'm lost, to forgive me even when i hurt her. Thank you Sue!

Not to forget, 1000+ senior. He's adapting i guess, but definately his life is tougher than mine. Yes, master is not that easy. But as your name has tell all of us, you are 1000+ senior. You can do it, junior will always help you to "打气打气打气". I guess you'll miss malaysia more than me cause your girlfriend is still there, but whenever you miss home, don't worry, senior is missing home too.

Kim Han

To Kim Han: It's not like you don't have my number, it's not like you can't reach me through sms. And it's definately not me who don't want to be in contact with you. Who should define who should do more. If everytime only when i drop you a sms then only i get a reply, people will sometimes just leave it. It's the thoughts that count anyway. To have you mentioned my name, i guess it meant something already. Knowing you since CIMP, i've given up on a lot of people already. I've gone through a lot and to tell you now, you are surely not one that i'll let go. Even though we might not be contacting, i just want you to know, i'm there for you when you need someone.

Other people who should also be given credit for taking the effort of contacting me, Hong Nien and Nadia. =)

Nites people, Ice Crim is happy!

=D

~Even when the whole world has doubts about you, i'll still trust you.~

Ice Crim's confession

I was about to reply apple in the chatbox that it's weird that i'm not seeing familiar faces around me nowadays also. But come deeper in thought, perhaps it has been a good thing after all.

A lot of people i can say, don't understand me. Perhaps they haven't been through this type of situation or perhaps they look at everything in a different way from me.

I've done the same mistake twice in just a short period of two years and it's a irreversible change. People might say, there's nothing wrong with it. It is, at least to me, yes it is. When things happened, i always chose to run away. The first time i commit the mistake, everyone was by my side. The second time i committed the same mistake, i had no one except family and apple. It's not everyone left me, but it's more caused i chose to be alone. I chose to isolate from everyone. I worked everyday, seven days a week, morning till night, with no rest. Apple was dead worried, there was so many times that i almost broke down, i wanted to give up, i wanted to take a rest, but i can't. Because i know if i stopped and there's time for me to look back, i'll blame myself. I'll blame myself very badly very badly...

When i lost hope, you told me not to give up. You told me that we can walk hand in hand and overcome everything. You told me that yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery and today is present, that's why we should always treasure what we have. You told me that time will prove everything. Everyone, or perhaps only me, really thought things could work out. I really thought it could, but it failed. This fall was not as bad as the first one, caused everything ended up nicely and peacefully. But it caused a deep scar, a scar that will remain deeper than the first one.

萍果,我没有再次跌到.这次是我第一次可以公开的讨论这个话题.我没有勇气去想一年后的事.可是我知道我这一年的离开是正确的选择.

I miss home, but i don't miss the life i lead in malaysia. I miss uni life to a certain extent, the part when everyone really walked hand in hand. But today, everyone has chosen to let go of their hands and walk in seperate ways. Everyone is blaming the other party for not doing their part, but who defines who should do more.

1 year down from now, I'll be back in monash sunway. How will things be like, it's something predictable, from once very close where you'll know what is each other doing tomorrow, to a point where we'll all just be hi bye friends.

I don't know how many of you will be reading this post. Perhaps you guys won't miss the old days, but i do. It's contradicting, but if given a choice all over again, i'll not want to lead those life again.

The mistake i commit, i've told myself and made a promise to myself, i'll not commit the same mistake anymore.

A promise made, is a promise to be kept.

*I wonder if you ever remembered making promises to me on the last day we met, but sadly, you've broken them all. It might not be important to you at all anymore, but you should know i take promises seriously.*

People, it's not an emo post. I'm smiling to myself for posting this up. Caused this is the first time i'm willing to tell out how i felt after so long. Ice crim will always be ice crim, the person who you all have been pampering all this while.

And i miss you...

Third topic

I remember my third topic... I was about to tell about my backache... Well... Friends who know me well enough should know that i've backache problem and it seems to worsen as days passed by... Used to have people massaging for me but anyway... It's the past... So yah... Was telling that it seems to have worsen... The pain was so strong today that i actually had to walk with my hand supporting my back... And so yah... I guess the more that i've got to take good care of myself and my back now...

Yoga back in malaysia seems to have helped a bit but today attending the free yoga class in monash sports doesn't seems so attracting to me... Perhaps the class is big, so the instructor tends to missed out a lot of important factors that people should take note of... And the instructor can't possibly go to everyone and correct their posture... So joining yoga here is out of the topic...

And still... To end off... I miss home...!!!

Complains...

Sleepless Nights

I don't know what happened to myself either...

1) I used to take shower before i sleep last time in malaysia and i thought must have been recently i showered too early and so i couldn't sleep at night. So i tried taking shower only before i sleep but failed... I still wake up in the middle of the nights...

2) I thought it must have been those woolly blankets that caused itchiness to my body and caused me to wake up every nite. So i bought a quilt but still failed... I still wake up in the middle of the nights...

I just want to sleep peacefully, just like how i always do back home. And first few nights upon reaching melbourne, sleep wasn't this bad either, i just want nice sleep.

Lectures

I never thought this will actually be an issue though it might sound a bit ridiculous. Back in sunway campus, lecturers will just stand in front of the computer and talked and pressed enter for the next slide. But here in aussie, lecturers are a bit more hardworking. They tend to walk around when explaining slides and let me tell you, just seeing them walking round and round makes me feel really dizzy. I'm so looking forward for the evaluation form and going to write down there that lecturers walking around when teaching is very distracting...!!!

Erm...

There was supposingly a third topic to blog about, but i just can't recall it now after receiving Wei Yun's call... Err... But anyway... I'm getting used to life here... Though still very looking forward to go home... And i miss home food... :(