I was about to reply apple in the chatbox that it's weird that i'm not seeing familiar faces around me nowadays also. But come deeper in thought, perhaps it has been a good thing after all.
A lot of people i can say, don't understand me. Perhaps they haven't been through this type of situation or perhaps they look at everything in a different way from me.
I've done the same mistake twice in just a short period of two years and it's a irreversible change. People might say, there's nothing wrong with it. It is, at least to me, yes it is. When things happened, i always chose to run away. The first time i commit the mistake, everyone was by my side. The second time i committed the same mistake, i had no one except family and apple. It's not everyone left me, but it's more caused i chose to be alone. I chose to isolate from everyone. I worked everyday, seven days a week, morning till night, with no rest. Apple was dead worried, there was so many times that i almost broke down, i wanted to give up, i wanted to take a rest, but i can't. Because i know if i stopped and there's time for me to look back, i'll blame myself. I'll blame myself very badly very badly...
When i lost hope, you told me not to give up. You told me that we can walk hand in hand and overcome everything. You told me that yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery and today is present, that's why we should always treasure what we have. You told me that time will prove everything. Everyone, or perhaps only me, really thought things could work out. I really thought it could, but it failed. This fall was not as bad as the first one, caused everything ended up nicely and peacefully. But it caused a deep scar, a scar that will remain deeper than the first one.
萍果,我没有再次跌到.这次是我第一次可以公开的讨论这个话题.我没有勇气去想一年后的事.可是我知道我这一年的离开是正确的选择.
I miss home, but i don't miss the life i lead in malaysia. I miss uni life to a certain extent, the part when everyone really walked hand in hand. But today, everyone has chosen to let go of their hands and walk in seperate ways. Everyone is blaming the other party for not doing their part, but who defines who should do more.
1 year down from now, I'll be back in monash sunway. How will things be like, it's something predictable, from once very close where you'll know what is each other doing tomorrow, to a point where we'll all just be hi bye friends.
I don't know how many of you will be reading this post. Perhaps you guys won't miss the old days, but i do. It's contradicting, but if given a choice all over again, i'll not want to lead those life again.
The mistake i commit, i've told myself and made a promise to myself, i'll not commit the same mistake anymore.
A promise made, is a promise to be kept.
*I wonder if you ever remembered making promises to me on the last day we met, but sadly, you've broken them all. It might not be important to you at all anymore, but you should know i take promises seriously.*
People, it's not an emo post. I'm smiling to myself for posting this up. Caused this is the first time i'm willing to tell out how i felt after so long. Ice crim will always be ice crim, the person who you all have been pampering all this while.
And i miss you...
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